Classifieds: Employment: Your Only Qualifications

Wanted: Professional Deliverance Stewards, Emancipation Brokers, Remission Emissaries, Reclamation Laborers, and Salvation Handlers

We are a consulting firm

specializing in assisting

current fuck-ups,

who are fucked-up,

and actively fucking-up,

get themselves

un-wangled

from

the shit-holes

they have hustled themselves

into.

Looking

for

ex-scumbags

with at least

5 years of experience in:

(hard) drug addiction,

general failure and affliction,

abuse,

misuse,

manipulation,

and degradation.

Multiple

jail sentences (preferably felonies)

and/or

commitments to state psychiatric hospitals

could be

a big plus

but

are not a necessity

(we will “train” and work with the right candidate!)

Persisting

personality disorders,

chronic violent tendencies,

and

general mental disturbance

will be tolerated

only

if symptomatically mild.

We welcome those

on

probation or parole.

Sick of stewing

in the haze and hell of memories

and the horror that is your overpriced wisdom?

Use your expertise

and long term acquaintance with nether-regions

to help those still lost and floundering in

shadow worlds of their own making.

Accepting applications from

1AM to 4AM.

Put your strung out,

sleepless nights

to good use

and apply now.

Quit wasting

what little you have left

of your

meaningless and empty

life!

Walk-ins only.

Optimists

and

those theologically inclined

need not apply.

This is a full-time job with mandatory overtime.

A.M.

(Drugs and Culture)

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